Roger Tries Stand-Up: The Circle of Blame Comedy Special. Finding the G K Spot corrupting the morals of Monica.
Setting: The Back Yard Comedy Club, London - Open Mic Night
COMPERE: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage... Roger Lewis and his ventriloquist partner Monica!
[Roger walks on stage carrying a ventriloquist dummy dressed as a Swedish woman with blonde pigtails and a cycling helmet. The dummy has a knowing smirk painted on her wooden face.]
ROGER: Good evening, Back Yard! I'm Roger, and this is Monica. Say hello, Monica.
MONICA (in a slightly Swedish accent): Hej! I am Monica from Sweden, and I am here to corrupt some morals tonight!
ROGER: Now, Monica here taught me something very important about finding things. You see, I moved to Sweden - lovely place, Ängelholm - and I had a lunch appointment at this hotel called Klitterhus.
MONICA: Oh ja, the Klitterhus! You Englishmen always have trouble finding it!
ROGER: So there I was, wandering around like a lost tourist, when I see this beautiful Swedish woman cycling toward me. I flag her down and say, "Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry, but I can't find the Klitterhus!"
MONICA: And what did she say?
ROGER: She grins at me and says, "Ah, you are an Englishman! You often have problems finding the Klitterhus!"
[Audience chuckles]
MONICA: Well, it's true! You English, you look everywhere except the right place!
ROGER: So naturally, I start the Circle of Blame, don't I? First, I blame the GPS...
MONICA: "Stupid technology never works when you need it!"
ROGER: Then I blame the Swedish road signs...
MONICA: "Why can't they write everything in English like civilized people?"
ROGER: Then I blame the hotel for not being where I expected...
MONICA: "Who puts a hotel there anyway? It should be more obvious!"
ROGER: Then I blame myself for not preparing better...
MONICA: "I should have studied the map more carefully!"
ROGER: Then I blame the Swedish language for being confusing...
MONICA: "Klitterhus, Kliterhus - why so many similar words?"
ROGER: Then I blame the woman for not giving clearer directions initially...
MONICA: "She should have been more specific about the location!"
ROGER: And round and round we go! GPS blames road signs, road signs blame the hotel, hotel blames the guests, guests blame themselves, they blame the language, language blames the locals, locals blame the GPS...
MONICA: Meanwhile, the Klitterhus is exactly where it has always been!
[Bigger laugh from audience]
ROGER: But here's the thing - while I'm spinning in this Circle of Blame, Monica here is getting more and more amused. She's watching me go round and round, getting nowhere...
MONICA: It's like watching a man trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions!
ROGER: And finally, she takes pity on me. She points over her shoulder and says, "The one you seek is just along here, just up there a little - you almost found it."
MONICA: You were so close! You just needed someone to show you exactly where to look!
ROGER: So off I go, following her directions, and sure enough - there it is! The Klitterhus! Right where she said it would be!
MONICA: Amazing what happens when you stop going in circles and start paying attention!
ROGER: Now, this got me thinking about other things that are hard to find. You know, like the truth in politics...
MONICA: Oh ja, politicians have their own Circle of Blame! Conservatives blame Labour, Labour blames Conservatives, Lib Dems blame everyone, everyone blames the voters, voters blame the media, media blames social media, social media blames the algorithms...
ROGER: Meanwhile, the real power brokers are counting their money in the back room!
MONICA: Exactly! While everyone argues about symptoms, the disease gets richer!
ROGER: Or take the economy - bankers blame politicians, politicians blame bankers, everyone blames the markets, markets blame regulations, regulations blame human nature...
MONICA: And who benefits from all this confusion?
ROGER: The usurers! The ones creating money as debt and collecting compound interest while everyone else fights over crumbs!
MONICA: It's like the Klitterhus problem - everyone's looking everywhere except where the real action is!
[Audience warming up, some knowing laughs]
ROGER: But Monica here, she's been educating me. Corrupting my morals, you might say. Teaching me to see through the Circle of Blame...
MONICA: Someone has to corrupt the innocent! Otherwise, they believe everything they're told!
ROGER: And the more time I spent with Monica, the more I realized she had a very special talent. She could cut through all the confusion and show me exactly where to look...
MONICA: It's all about knowing the right spot to focus on!
ROGER: Whether it's finding a hotel in Sweden, or understanding how the financial system really works, or figuring out why the media keeps everyone arguing about everything except the important stuff...
MONICA: There's always one crucial spot that makes everything clear!
ROGER: Monica taught me that most people spend their whole lives going in circles, blaming everyone else, never finding what they're actually looking for...
MONICA: Because they don't know where the real action is!
ROGER: But once someone shows you - once you see it clearly - you can find it every time!
MONICA: Every single time! No more confusion, no more circles!
ROGER: So here's the thing about Monica - when I first met her, I had no idea she would show me exactly where the G Spot is...
[Audience perks up, sensing the punchline coming]
MONICA: The what spot?
ROGER: The G Spot, Monica! G.K. Chesterton's spot! The exact point where you can see through the whole Circle of Blame!
MONICA: Oh ja! The GK Spot! The sweet spot of understanding!
ROGER: That's right! When I first met Monica, I had no idea she would show me exactly where the G Spot is - so much so I can now find it every time!
MONICA: The GK Spot - where Chesterton saw that the plutocracy uses its own blunders as excuses for further crimes!
ROGER: The exact spot where you realize the Circle of Blame is perfect misdirection while the usurers count their profits!
MONICA: Once you find the GK Spot, you can't miss it! It's right there in plain sight!
ROGER: And just like the Klitterhus in Ängelholm - once Monica showed me where it was, I could find it every time!
MONICA: No more going in circles! No more blaming everyone else! Just straight to the GK Spot!
ROGER: The spot where everything becomes clear - who's really in charge, how the system actually works, and why everyone else is kept spinning in circles!
MONICA: And the best part? Once you've found the GK Spot, you can show others where it is too!
ROGER: That's right! Monica corrupted my morals by showing me the GK Spot, and now I'm corrupting yours!
MONICA: Welcome to the corruption! It's much more fun than going in circles!
ROGER: So remember, folks - whether you're looking for a hotel in Sweden, the truth about the economy, or the real source of political power...
MONICA: Stop spinning in the Circle of Blame and start looking for the GK Spot!
ROGER: And if you're having trouble finding it, just ask Monica - she knows exactly where it is!
MONICA: Every time! Right where Chesterton said it would be - hidden in plain sight!
ROGER: Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience! Remember - find your GK Spot, and you'll never go in circles again!
[Roger and Monica take a bow as the audience applauds]
EPILOGUE - Back at the bar after the show:
AUDIENCE MEMBER: That was brilliant! But I have to ask - what's the real story about the Klitterhus?
ROGER: grinning Well, it's all true, actually. There really is a place called Klitterhus in Ängelholm, and I really did get lost trying to find it. And there really was a lovely Swedish woman who helped me...
AUDIENCE MEMBER: And her name was really Monica?
ROGER: winking Let's just say that sometimes life provides the perfect setup for the perfect punchline. The GK Spot, on the other hand - that's absolutely real. Once you see how the Circle of Blame works, you can't unsee it.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: So Monica really did corrupt your morals?
ROGER: In the best possible way! She showed me that the greatest corruption isn't sexual - it's intellectual. Once you understand how the system actually works, you can never go back to innocent belief in the official narrative.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: And you can really find the GK Spot every time now?
ROGER: laughing Every single time! Right where Chesterton said it would be - at the exact point where you stop blaming symptoms and start looking at the root cause. The usurers creating money as debt while everyone else fights over who's to blame for the consequences.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: That's either the cleverest double entendre I've ever heard, or the most educational comedy routine.
ROGER: Why not both? The best corruption of morals comes with a smile and a wink. Monica taught me that truth is funnier than fiction - you just have to know where to look for it.
[Roger raises his glass in a toast]
ROGER: To Monica - wherever she is - for showing me that sometimes the most important spots are hidden in plain sight, and once you find them, you never lose them again!
THE CIRCLE OF BLAME COMEDY FORMULA:
Setup: Lost Englishman can't find Swedish hotel
Escalation: Everyone blames everyone else in perfect circle
Revelation: Monica shows the way by cutting through the confusion
Application: Same pattern applies to politics, economics, everything
Punchline: The "G Spot" is actually the "GK Spot" - Chesterton's insight
Payoff: Once you find it, you can find it every time
THE MORAL: The greatest corruption of innocence is learning to see through the Circle of Blame to the real source of power - and once Monica shows you where the GK Spot is, you'll never go in circles again!
